


Return From the Fade

by dontknowcats



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 13:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3897679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontknowcats/pseuds/dontknowcats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate Universe where the Inquisitor was left in the Fade. After two years, Atheva finally returns to Skyhold.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atheva's POV

Atheva fell to her hands and knees in front of the gate of Skyhold, her fingers digging into the grass and dirt beneath her. It wasn’t the first patch of grass she had seen since returning, but it signaled she was home. The snow had been cold, a sensation she had felt for far too long, but the grass? The grass was warm and invited her to sleep.

With a loud groan she laid down onto her stomach, letting the blades tickle her face. She heard footsteps around her and a warm hand against her back.

“Tired, Swish?” Varric asked, rubbing his hand in comforting circles.

“Let me sleep for a million years and I’ll be fine,” she muttered. “Where’s Cullen?”

“Don’t worry, someone’s been sent to fetch your long-lost lover.” She shut her eyes as she felt him sit beside her, his thigh brushing against her side. “If you want to nap until he arrives, go ahead. I wouldn’t blame you.”

The elf let out a sigh of relief and comfort, her eyes closing. Even though she still felt Varric’s touch and could hear the activity around her she was afraid that the moment she opened her eyes, she would be back laying on the black rock ground of the fade, stuck with fighting for her life once more.

The comforting warmth of the dwarf’s hand left the small of her back after a while and she heard him stand.

“Is she alright?” A concerned voice asked.

“Just tired. Take it slow, take it easy. She’s still pretty delicate. Fell to her knees and cried when she came out, not caring about the demons. Just… be gentle?” Varric offered up.

Now there was another person’s body pressed against hers, laying beside her. Reluctantly she peeked an eye open, and smiled when the first thing she saw was a scar upon smiling lips.

“Cullen,” she breathed. Slowly she rolled onto her side for a better view of him.

Dark bags had made their mark beneath his eyes and she couldn’t help but wonder if they were because of her despite the two years that had supposedly passed. His hair was tousled and already attracting small pieces of dead grass, and his eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

“Atheva.” He mimicked, reaching a hand out to gently push hair from her eyes.

The last time she had encountered Cullen was with a desire demon. He had hugged her tight, crushed her between his arms like she had imagined for weeks. Even now she wanted it, but was beyond ecstatic that he was being gentle.

“You’re real,” she whispered, tears beginning to trickle down her face and drip off her nose. “Y-You’re real, finally… Thank you, Creators.”

Pain flashed across his face as he registered her words, and a weak “Maker’s breath” escaped him before he was finally able to put a smiling face back on. “Of course I am,” he murmured, letting his thumb lightly rub against her cheek.

Atheva was unable to help herself and scooted closer to him until she was pressed right against him and she could wrap her arms around him. She kissed him for a good while, her heart beating loudly in her ears. Two long years without him, and now he was in her arms. She couldn’t help but cry harder and ruin the kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all based on a headcanon of mine about Cullen's days in Kirkwall.

“Commander!” The soldier ran in breathless, a large grin on his face until he realized he had walked in on something… important.

Cullen’s cheeks burned red in embarrassment at being caught, but he did not hurry to pull out of the soldier laying upon his desk. One last thrust into her before he finally turned his attention to the intruder. “What?” He growled.

“S-Ser… The Inquisitor…”

Cullen’s eyebrow raised in confusion at the title he hadn’t heard in his presence for almost two years. “What about her? Find another old letter?” He muttered, glancing down to his drawers. The woman’s foot was in front of the one holding every single thing that Atheva had attempted to write to him, though all eventually ended up being written in Varric’s handwriting.

“She’s back,” the soldier said softly, nervous for the Commander’s reaction.

Every day the soldier upon the desk would come to eat breakfast from Cullen’s quarters, occasionally even wearing his stolen mantle. 

_The first day she had come down, no one seemed to notice. But over the next week a few realized what was happening and lamented their sadness for the Inquisitor._

_“If she comes back someone has to tell her,” one person said._

_“Imagine the heartbreak though. She must think of him all the time, and he’s taken another lover? Did he only see her as a body?” Said another._

_“I heard in Kirkwall he slept around, took out his frustrations from Kinloch on the women at the Blooming Rose. Of course, they agreed first. Commander isn’t an arse.” A third chimed in._

Cullen pulled out of partner, trying to keep his thoughts straight. She was back? His beloved was back from the Fade and here he was sleeping with an infatuated soldier.

“Give me… a few minutes,” he whispered, waving a hand of dismissal to the messenger, who quickly shut the door behind him.

“Commander, are we not going to continue?” She asked, sitting up with her legs still spread as he pulled on his small clothes.

“Of course not,” he muttered, “Atheva is back.”

“Then… what am I to do until you return?”

“Get dressed and leave. You were a distraction.” He couldn’t bear to look her in the eye as he spoke, disgusted with himself for letting things get so far. “Don’t speak of this when she’s around.”

“Y-Yesser.” Her voice broke when she answered, her legs closing before she stood on the floor.

Cullen rushed to get dressed, his erection gone the moment he realized he was truly the lowest of the low. He deserved no one’s respect, his position, or the smile he received when Atheva saw him.

The way her arms wrapped around him felt like she was crushing him, smothering him as a punishment. The three words he had longed to hear for the past two years were three separate knives in his heart.

How had he betrayed her?

The inevitable thought of her being dead had driven him back to his ways in Kirkwall, taking out every bit of anger and frustration and despair in any physical way he could. The moment he joined the Inquisition, however, he vowed to keep himself in control even as he struggled with the lack of lyrium.

And then she had fallen from the heavens, pushed herself into his life. He rarely felt the scratching inside his head, begging for the liquid happiness. And then she was gone, tugged from him just as quickly as she had arrived.

He had promised her he would stay away from lyrium, and he had found the need so unbearable without her he turned instead to his former practices of physical release.

And now she was back, kissing him like he had just been kissing the soldier minutes before. Except she was gentle, her lips soft against his instead of the crashing forceful mess he put the other woman through.

When she cried tears of joy, he fought to keep his hot angry tears down.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atheva has found out about Cullen's activities while she was gone.

“Atheva, please!” He whispered through the tears, his voice unable to come out in one whole breath. “It tore at me, knowing you were-”

“What, gone? Maybe dead? Thinking about you and how lonely you must have felt?” She snapped, throwing a vase across the room at him. It shattered against the wall next to him, but he didn’t take his eyes off of her. “Because I was lonely! I was screaming your name for you to find me, for anything to find me because knowing I had left you was the worst pain! But apparently I didn’t need to worry.” Her words were like knives in his lungs, each breath drowning in salty tears and heartbreak.

Both of their cheeks were stained and traveled by burning hot tears, hers of anger and his of fear of losing her. He watched her carefully maneuver around the room, as if she were out on the field battling a demon. And Maker did he feel like one.

“Please, please, hear me out! She means nothing, meant nothing. You were always in my heart, the thought on the forefront of my mind. It felt like the lesser of two evils.”

“What was the other? What was so terrible that it made sleeping with someone to get over your maybe-dead lover sound angelic?” She spat.

“I promised myself I wouldn’t take it, Atheva. I wasn’t willing to go back on my word to you or the Inquisition!” He curled his hands into fists, trying to keep himself under control.

“Yet you were completely willing to go back on our relationship easily,” she muttered, watching him begin to glare at the ground.

“Atheva,” Cullen said, having finally run out of arguments. Not even arguments, really, just pathetic attempts at explanations.

_“Banal abelas, banal vhen’an!*”_ Erupted from her lips, but even as she said it she knew it wasn’t true. He couldn’t even understand her, but she saw his heart break in two.

The room was silent as they tried to control their emotions and their breathing, tried to think of how to solve the entire situation.

“I cried for you,” she breathed as she stepped back towards the balcony behind her.

“And I for you,” he replied, stepping closer to her.

“Why did no one look for me?”

“Solas tried. The Anchor made it impossible for him.”

“Do you even love me still?”

“I swear to the Maker I do. I always will. If there ever comes a day that I don’t, put me out of my misery.”

“Ghilas. Get out of my sight,” she finally said, turning to face the mountains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *You can find a translation here: http://bit.ly/1Ingn1z


End file.
